Hip hop I love you but step out of line and I’ll beat that ass.

Xpizzle’s Bitch Slap

The most unintentionally hilarious thing one encounters in their journey as a hip hop journalist are press releases. Seriously who the fuck writes these things, people, that’s who, what’s worse than this is they are getting paid, actual money! There is one company in Australia doing an outstanding job largely, other than that it is a constant stream of rubbish into our mailbox, both online and the old fashioned postal way. Rather than helping launch their acts into the stratosphere of superstardom the third rate writing promises, they instead make them mocked and judged before the music has even hit the ears of a handful of listeners. If everyone is “the future” and every album “definitely the years best” what exactly does that leave? I long for the day where I read something along the lines of “CD contains an attempt at a Triple J single, three BBQ songs, some stolen beats & gratuitous use of the word fuckholio”. If those writing these releases are really serious about both their jobs and the careers of those they are looking to promote they need to step their shit up or step the fuck away from the Microsoft Word document.

Press release writers, you’ve been pimp slapped.